Thursday, December 31, 2020


One sister was my fathers pick.

My other was my mothers.

I guess that left me somewhere in between.

Life is a long hard road

when you’re so young

and you don’t know which way to go.

Somewhere deep down you know 

That you’re lost and nowhere is a friend.

Mattered not the frame of mind

for deep, way down inside

a spirit cried.

Even through this existential despair

an attitude was formed.

I didn’t need any of them.

There was no God.

How could someone who loved me

throw me into such a plight?

For me, time stood still.

Somewhere at the center of it all

I came up lacking, never full.

The worse thing, I was never here,

in balance with the creators reality.

So it was for many a year.

I had quit crying for love

How could I know a non-existent thing?

It was a road stretching into nowhere.

The quest for being emerged in a Buddhist book 

And a ray of light opened in me

If I could only know then perhaps I’d be satisfied,

A reason for everything somewhere could be seen.

So in sandaled feet I walked the Earth

Forgotten was the child within.

It was not for others perhaps, but was with me.

Then one day, I gained my place

Or so it seemed.

Deep, still, down inside

The pleasures of Earth could not fill.

The void when I closed my eyes

Grew far, grew wide,

Grew forever.

Was this all there was?

I felt lost and turned to take my

Wants where I found them.

Now drinking began to fill my time

For time loomed long into a far, distant destiny.

Late, when the sun was gone, on a winters eve,

I found my spirit or it found me.

Up mountain, down hill, every direction

I had it, it had me.

All my life had come to be,

Perhaps freedom was for me.

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